comparison

I think I made too much comparisons,
compare India with Malaysia,
these for sure will include food, accommodation, water supply, electricity...
compare my awesome buddies with friends...

I should stop it,
cause it will disappoint me from time to time~~
I think I should give myself sometime to adapt to India,
and as well as spend more time with new friends,
our family background are too different that,
I feel tense up sometimes...
Why I become so impatient???
Why I become so un-talkactive???
Why am I do not behave like myself??
Why????

don't care...
don't care too much...
study first...
then, see how...
see how for tomorrow...
It is so tired to get too emotional....
I will sure mentally exhausted...
:(

xxxxxxx

I can understand you don't know me well~~
I can understand you still need time to understand me~~
But...
Don't you think that,
you should have some principles in life,
that is what you no need to understand,
cause you already knew since you were born.
Boys are not born to wait for girls,
as well as friends are not born to wait for friends,
you can do it for several times,
But please~~
don't you do it again and again...
I promise I will not let the others to wait for me,
Seriously,
cause it is annoying~~
=.= 

To my dearest friends:

I wish for you,
to have love all around,
your whole life long.

I wish for your days,
to be filled with laughter,
kind words and joyful songs.

I wish for you,
to have beautiful,
new things to happen
to you each new day.

I wish for you,
every choice to lead you,
to the most blessed way.

And I wish for you,
strength for the difficult times,
for courage to carry on and
grace to fulfill your dreams.

=)

Life in India

On the first day I entered class,
I read through the book,
I asked myself,
why do you choose to come here???
You should listen to your mum,
Just stay in Malaysia,
do whatever you like,
why should you go to India and suffer?

But... ...
after I thought for a while,
I am determined,
this is what I want,
I told myself,
This is not a wrong decision,
I am meant to be here.

=)

When I am Here

When I am here,

I have no one to talk to,

When I am here,

I feel lonely,

When I am here,

I feel dissapointed,

When I am here,

I feel lifeless,

When I am here...

Here I am... ... ...

Age does matter,

I think different from the others,

Maybe this is why I always don't get along with the others easily... ...

Final

Am having final now~~
but, I am wasting my time again~~
I read novel and the storyline was so sad~~
I was touched~~
I spent 3 hours in reading novel,
So I will spend 3 more hours doing revision~~
Psychology,
here I come!!
*fighting* =)

A different me

Today is Saturday,
again, I am going to be all alone,
I hope that I can be more productive today,
doing revision,
doing research about my ideal universities,
improve my english...
Fighting~~ =)

chemistry exam is on monday

Chemistry exam is on this Monday,
I keep on telling myself,
But, I do nothing,
keep on surfing net,
doing nonsense,
facebook-ing,
aimless-ing,
day dreaming,
Finally, I found that here is where I wish to come,
cause I have not been talking to a person about myself for long long long long long time,
huh,
I am not talkactive person,
I can keep myself silent for the whole day,
cause there is nothing much to say,
just feel so lazy to talk to the others,
feel sad sometimes,
but I definitely don't know why I feel sad,
since I have many friends around me,
I guess I know why,
It is just that I don't want to reveal the reason,
Let it be kept in my heart forever and ever.
I only have them,
I only trust them,
though they don't know me well,
though I exist in this world because of them.

Trial exam is about one month time,
but but but but but but.......
huh.... tired tired tired tired.....

Tired~~ tired~~ tired~~ aaarrrgggghhhh~~~

I feel like going back home,
I am so tired of studying,
Why can't I just stop studying and live in Debak forever and ever with my parents?
Why others can choose to be as simple as possible...
Become teachers,
Become helper at their shops,
Become government servants,
Become a simple person...
Why should I need to strive so hard to become well known?
Why?
Why??
Why???
Why I cannot just stay at home and help them?
become a good girl that will always be there for them,
with daddy and mummy...

But when I stay at Debak for a long time,
I feel like I am rusting,
I feel like I am useless,
Why on this Earth, everything is just happened out of my expectation?
I want something I will have it,
I don't want something that will stick to me forever and ever.
I am so tired,
extremely tired,
sometimes, I even think of commit suicide...
Am I crazy?
Am I weird?
huh~~ I don't know~
I don't know what is happening...

M6

These are my friends in M6, Taylor's college.
This photo was taken 3 months ago I guess so.
During that time,
we were still not very close,
4 of us are Sarawakians (Martin, Haw Rong, Cheng Xin, me)
{have the smell of forest, there is a big bird in the sky}
2 of them are from Muar, Johor (Tevi, Shielin)
{otak-otak}
one is from Kuantan (Ya Wern)
{... ...}
The rest are from KL (Abi, Michelle, Ai Lin, Zhen Hua, Jonathan, Aaron, Ying Jing, Carol)
{like to honk when driving}

I am glad that I have this small group of peers,
cause they are so nice,
so caring,
so friendly,
so funny,
so charming,
We can get along with each other very well now,
we like to make fun in class now,
we like to have lunch together now.

Time flies,
but as time flies,
it fails to bring along the sweet memories among us,
we will always remember each other,
though only eight months,
it means a lot for me,
because I grew up and learnt many things from Taylor's.

p/s : friendship forever~~ <3

12:47am

I had just finish doing something meaningful to me,
and it is quite late now,
I am listening to music,
cause I don't feel like sleeping,
the tense atmosphere is finally gone,
cause I couldn't stand for one week,
so I took action first,
and I feel relieved now,
huh~huh~huh~

Am I crazy?
I have a bad habit,
I like to open facebook after few minutes to check notifications and stalk others' profiles,
what is wrong with me?
Oh my goodness,
I am so so so so so lifeless,
I can't believe I am addicted to facebook now.
I should control myself.

p/s : have to go to bed now, cause tomorrow will have thursday blue.... : p

I don't like the tense atmosphere

why am i so bad?
if someone talks to you, i must make eye contact,
but what did i do!!!
i didn't even make eye contact with,
i am so bad!!!
i never learn to forgive others,
i only know how to escape,
this should not happen to me,
if this keeps on going on, then i am going to live in guilt,
forever and ever,
Give me one week,
and I will be okay.
and I will improve our relationship.

congratulation, someone pissed me off !!!

Bullshit,
why i just cannot stand?
why i have such low self control?
Someone is just nothing but bullshit!
But, see...
what have you done?
you lose to someone.
you hurt yourself.
you make yourself angry.

why should you do that for someone?
why should you?
not worth it,
someone never know you.
someone never understand you.
someone only know how to judge you by your expression.
but someone never truely understand me.
someone does not have the right to talk about me.
I only allow my close friends, my true friends to tell me what should I do.
Cause my true and sincere friends never observe me through their eyes,
they use their hearts to feel my feeling.

You are just nothing.
Don't step on me.
I will protect myself.
Protect myself from a selfish you.

p/s: have to take bath now.

Aimless life

I am sad that Mr Ronny is out of my expectation,
He is not what I want,
I realised that I was not working hard for him,
I should have do better to get Mr Ronny,
He is only once in my life time,
I am lucky I am given extra time to accomplish my mission,
but see,
What have I done?
Am I putting enough effort?
DEFINITELY NO!!
OBVIOUSLY NO!!

Why should I waste my time?
Why should I waste money?

Oh my goodness!!
I am such a bitch!!
Wake up!!
You don't have much time!!
You are wasting your time!!

another boring afternoon

Another boring afternoon,
I stuck in cafeteria and study lounge,
When will this study life end?
When can I live without books?
When can I go back to my home sweet home?
When can I???
When can I??
When can I?
I can't imagine whether I still can stand this study life or not.
If I am staying with my parents, I will definitely can cope with it.
Cause they can motivate me,
they will encourage me to keep going on.
But now,
my courage is no longer there,
I find my life is boring,
and it is so sad to say that,
there is no enjoyment living at here.
How can I cheer myself up?
How can I be happy?
How can I be contented?
How can I???
How can I??
How can I?

p/s: can't wait to go back to Debak~
     - miss my bed so much~
     - miss my daddy so much~
     - miss my mummy so much~

Relationship

感情,
是很微妙的,
是很奇特的,
无论是亲情,友情和爱情,
当你越陷越深,
你就越无法自拔,
你就会更伤心,
如果是我,
我喜欢蜻蜓点水的感情,
因为我经不起家人的离开,
朋友的背叛,
和情人的劈腿...
世上只有自己最了解自己,
没有人能改变其他人的生活方式,
没有人能改变其他人的相处方式,
只有自己才能改变自己...

Why am I have to be influenced by "you-know-who"?

I am so sad when I see how "you-know-who" treats my friends,
The most affected ones will be those "you-know-who" knows longer,
But it is fine cause I will protect my friends from "you-know-who",
I believe "you-know-who" will grow up one day,
learn how to respect people,
learn how to be more friendly,
learn how to cherish people around "you-know-who".


p/s: I will treat my friends to maximum~~
     -I will cherish every moment with them~~

3 months to go~~

3 months to go~~
too fast~~
too sad~~
too short~~
I appreciate friends who are around me~~
who never give up on me~~
cause I am the moody kind~~
I am not good in hiding my moodiness~~
the time is just too short for us to be together~~
but I really enjoy the time to be with you people~~

Messages from Mother

Mummy : " Mum is d back bond 2 support our family so should be strong n u also o."
Mummy : " U always d best my lovely daughter."
Mummy : " Thanks my dear."

I never delete meaningful messages from papa and mama.
When I receive their messages, I can't control my tears from falling.
When I feel lonely and tired, I will go to inbox and look for their messages.
By doing so, I have the courage to keep going on.
I will never give up cause I know papa and mama will always be there for me.

I am going back to Kuching

I am going back to Kuching this Friday,can't wait to go back and give him surprise,
I feel so good when I am thinking about him,
cause I know he will feel good too,
I miss the way he jokes,
I miss the way he calls me,
I miss him,
I miss him,
I miss him.
I want to see him,
I want to see him,
I want to see him.
This is what I feel right now.

p/s: have to finish my assignments before i go back so that can spend my weekend with him in MAX.
go! go! go! : )
Chill, Felicia!!
Cheer up, Felicia!!